June 6 2014
I was in a garden, clean lines and shrubbery like an English garden, with cherry blossom trees and Koi filled waterways and rocks along the paths like an Asian garden. It wasn’t a labyrinth but the path was intentionally complex and had a center.
The water ways were flush with the path, flat, so that they appeared to be an almost mirrored or glass part of the garden ground.
I walked through to the center where there was an almost swastika design of water way and pebbled path, clean right angles entwined into the point in the center where they all met.
I knew this center somehow belonged to me, and when I reached the converged intersections I slipped off my shoes and tiptoed over the pebbles and onto the water. I was aware now that I was wearing some kind of kimono and I lifted the bottom to not get it wet. The water was deep and koi were swimming underneath my toes but I didn’t sink into the water. I could feel wet pebbles just under my feet, invisible on the surface.
I continued to tiptoe across the water and back onto the pebbles and over to the next waterway. I felt a strain when my toes would touch the water, a strain in my body, like it was fighting gravity. Like I was using a whole different set of muscles than I normally used, all throughout my body. It is what allowed me to not sink into the water.
I kept circling the intersecting center until it all felt the same, the water and the pebbles all felt wet and my body strained. Straining more and more with every step until my toes left the ground and I levitated up just above it.
I kept making small steps with my toes that kept me “walking” the circles, without touching, floating right above the water and rocks.
I arched my back and body and held my kimono tight in my fists until I raised into the air and was now suspended a few feet above the water/pebbles that all were the same now. I saw myself, from an outside perspective. flowing layered kimono, reds and pinks transitioning into suspended Shibari positions.
I strained and contorted until I got myself back onto the ground.
I left the garden and the dream transitioned into something different- nothing special.
But I then came back to the garden. In the middle of the other dream. I found the path and got back in and found the middle and did it all over again.
This happened a few times throughout the night’s transitioning dreams.
On the last levitation I was upside down and looked over to see a wall appear, and a memory came to life like an apparition, of a family. Me as a little girl, and my father and mother. Not me or my family in waking life, but a dream version. Something terrible was happening, but I don’t know what exactly. Some kind of violence, something painful. The mother looked over at me, as I levitated, as she could see me watching, and she said “This is why you can do this” or something like that. Telling me that this terrible thing thing I was watching was the reason I was able to be in this center and do this impossible thing.
I woke up.
The lyrics to a song I didnt know I had heard before were repeating in my head. I had to look it up.
“Control yourself. Take only what you need from it.”
I am so madly in love with my mind.